There are four common types of negative thinking that most often arise with my clients. Understanding these may help you identify patterns in your own thinking. Below is a description of each type, followed by examples of negative thoughts and how each could be turned around into a healthy approach, one that will serve you well.
Self-Defeating
These negative thoughts act like a bully inside your head and soul, beating you up at every turn. Derived from EGO, there is nothing productive about this thinking and does not serve you… ever.
Examples:
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- I’m not worthy of happiness –> I am worthy of and entitled to joy
- I’m fat and unattractive –> I am beautiful inside and out
- I’m not good at this –> I can do anything I put my mind to
- I’m a bad mother –> I am a loving, compassionate mother and human being
Black and White
Black and White thinking tells you that everything must be all one way or another with no middle ground. The truth is that the two things can exist at the same time. Find both truths and use AND (not BUT) to highlight that both exist. This dialectical approach can be a powerful tool in opening you up to new perspectives.
Examples:
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- I’m never going to get through this –> This is difficult AND I’m going to get through it
- Things never work out for me –> Sometimes things don’t work out the way I planned AND I’m thankful for the times when they do
- I always mess things up –> I sometimes make mistakes AND I learn from them
- It’s so hard that I know I made the wrong decision –> It can be hard AND be the right decision
Lack
This type of negative thinking is one that often flies under the radar until you start paying attention. Having a lack mentality means that you are thinking about what you don’t have or want versus what you do have or want (abundant mindset). The result is you just keep focusing on the negative (which we all know does nothing to raise your mindset or spirit), ultimately getting you more of what you don’t want.
Examples:
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- I don’t want to work in a company that doesn’t care about its employees –> I want to work for a company that cares about its employees
- In my next relationship, I don’t want a partner who is selfish, ignores me or comes with drama –> I want a partner who is generous, caring and emotionally stable
- I don’t want to have financial struggles –> I am financially secure
- I need to lose weight –> I want to have energy, feel healthy and be more active
Comparison
Comparison is the thief of joy. When you start comparing yourself to others you begin to walk on shaky ground with your ego. If you’re comparing yourself to someone else’s success in a way that makes you feel bad about yourself, this never serves you well. What happens with others is no reflection of your own worth, abilities or life. Come back to your authenticity and revel in what only you can bring to the world. There is room for everyone to fulfill their purpose and more than enough success and abundance to go around.
Examples:
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- I feel like a failure when I see others succeeding.
- How did she get promoted when I’m working so hard?
- Why does it look so easy for everyone else to get what he or she wants?
- The healthy side of any negative comparison is always to come back to your authentic self and power –> I am a gift to this world bringing purpose and talents only I possess.
Conclusion
Recognizing the different types of negative thinking may help you to get more in touch with your own. Instead of trying to make sense of many random negative thoughts, categorizing them into these buckets can assist you in being able to turn them around more quickly and easily.
For a little more help writing affirmations, check out this great article.
If you’d like more help, join my FREE Facebook group, Tide Pool Talks, where we delve deep into one personal growth topics per month. If you’d like a more personalized approach, check out my life coaching services on this website.
